Alex Valle Shops At Forever 21
Alex Valle: “Hey I have that exact same shirt he is wearing. I know where he got it. He got it at Forever 21.”
Me: “So you shop at Forever 21?”
Alex Valle: “Well yeah … they have a Men’s section.”
Alex Valle Finally Learns How to Be a Proper Mexican Drug Dealer
Though he denies it, Mr. Valle is actually a Mexican drug dealer. Never mind about all this talk about Peruvian heritage. In the video below he finally accepts his fate and learns how to be a proper Mexican drug dealer by shooting a M1911 .45 for the first time.
I asked him if we was going to fire it wearing his wife beater to which he simply replied, “Nah meigns.”
Winners of the Commemorative Limited Edition Wifebeaters Signed by Alex Valle
Here are the winners for the commemorative, limited edition wifebeaters signed by the man himself, Alex Valle, that we were giving away for Level|Up Series 1 year anniversary. These lucky winners will be able to random dp, walkup ex-hurricane kick, whiff normals, and tell perverted stories like the best. Gold chain not included.
This lovely lady from twitter wins wifebeater #1. I don’t know if it’s fake or not, and frankly I don’t care because I was disappointed by the lack of females — particularly hot ones — that entered this contest. Congrats @heartofbattle
This guy wins limited edition wifebeater #2 because I am afraid of what will happen to me if I don’t send him one. Congrats @The_CATALY5T. Please don’t beat me up.
Finally user @Reinhart_x wins #3 because he made a sign.
Story Time With Alex Valle
Mr. Valle likes to reminisce about the glory days a lot — and I mean a lot. Seldom do I not have a conversation with Valle that starts “Back in the ’90s …” After awhile I started to notice that his stories more or less have a common theme which are listed in the above chart. His stories always take place in the ’90s at Southern Hills Golfland, more often than not involve sex, have something to do with either Street Fighter, John Choi, or Mike Watson, and — sometimes — people die in his stories — I’m not lying. In fact, if you pick just 3 topics at random from the above chart, Mr. Valle has a story about it. And believe it or not, sometimes his stories involve all of the above. Let me demonstrate with a story that involves {Mike Watson, Street Fighter, Southern Hills Golf Land} which I have paraphrased from Valle:
Hey did I tell you about the one time Watson parried a chair? No? Well one time at Southern Hills Golf Land, Mike Watson was playing Street Fighter against some typical Vietnamese guy. You know … he was one of those Vietnamese guys decked out in typical gangster gear; he was also a typical masher. Watson destroyed him and told him to “Get the fuck off the machine!” Well you know how Vietnamese gangsters are right? They are like the Zerg. All his Vietnamese homies showed up and wanted to throw down with Watson. One of homies took a chair and swung it at Watson. As he swung the chair, Watson parried it, yelled “Get the fuck out of here!”, and slammed his head against the game machine. Then after that all his homies ran away. And to this day Watson still has a mark on his forearm from when he parried a chair.”
That story was rather tame compared to some of the other stories he has told me. Just wait till you hear about the one that involves {sex, John Choi, someone dying}, but I’ll leave that one for some other time … =)
Cultural Exchange
Remember when Valle faced off against Daigo during the Alpha 3 World Championships? Well if you remember correctly, as a sign of cultural exchange between the nations of Japan and USA, Daigo was given a commemorative blazer while Valle was given a commemorative Japanese “Yukata” — a sort of Japanese Summer robe. If you are unfamiliar with this exchange it is all documented in this video here:
Well I always wondered what he had done with that Yukata as that was almost 10+ years ago. In my mind I thought the robe would be emblazoned somewhere in his home as a reminder of his epic duel. I guess I shouldn’t of been surprised when I asked him what he did with it.
Oh that old cum rag? I think I used it to wash my car once.
— Alex Valle
New Sister Site! “Karaoke With Alex Valle”
We are pleased to announce that we are branching out and starting a new sister blog called “Karaoke With Alex Valle” over at karaokewithalexvalle.wordpress.com. Here is a preview.
Meigns of the Internet, Alex Valle Needs Your Help With Virtual Fighter 3
Wassup meigns. If you don’t know what meigns means … well then maybe you just have yet to be meign-gled by Alex Valle in Street Fighter. Fortunately though, if you happen to be playing Mr. Valle in Virtual Fighter 3, you might stand a chance as he is just learning the game — even as you read this post at this vary moment. So if you can help him out by sending him tips at calipower@jps.net, I’m sure he would greatly appreciate it.
Latezzz
Meet Alex Valley
I’ve heard Mr. Valle called plenty of things since working with him, from CaliPower to shoryumasher, all which usually fall to the wayside of his poise demeanor from years of adoration and equal years of hate. However the one thing that will get a poignant response from Mr. Valle is to carelessly mispronounce his last name. Don’t dare call him Alex VALE or Alex VALLEY least you want a real life Metsu Shoryu to the nuts. The only person exempt from this rule, of course, is Mr. Valley himself.
Video submitted by Jimmy “ShinJN” Nguyen. This video was a take for an overseas tournament promotional video.
B*tch. I’m Alex Valle.
Mr. Valle usually likes to assert who he is when speaking to you.
(2:29:03 PM) Alex Valle: bitch
(2:29:06 PM) Alex Valle: i’m alex valle
(2:29:10 PM) Alex Valle: go find out
Soy Sauce Sluts
Any conversation with Mr. Valle will ultimately devolve into a discussion about women. Somehow, someway, this always happens. I could be discussing the finer points of string theory and quantum mechanics to which he will interject with the finer points of the mechanics of ass and tits. I have found that in working with Mr. Valle it is best to explain business proposals using the female anatomy as an analogy.
One day I was having a conversation with Mr. Valle — and again the topic became irrelevant, because inevitably we started talking about women. He asked me what type of women I liked to which I replied, “I like the Asian girls.” And with his patented grin he replied, “Oh so you like them soy sauce sluts huh?”
If you haven’t already figured it out, soy sauce is soy bean based sauce — a predominantly Asian condiment. It’s use by Mr. Valle with the word “sluts” denotes a synonym for “Asian girls”.
When you work with Mr. Valle, these type of responses sort of lose it’s shock value after awhile. In fact, I was kinda impressed, as I thought the moniker to be rather clever. Later when I asked Mr. Valle where he had come up with such a term, I found out that it did not come from the brilliant mind of Mr. Valle, but instead it was the title to one of his favorite pornos.
That’s CaliPower for ya.
Mr. Valle Response:
(10:34:57 AM) Alex Valle: actually
(10:35:01 AM) Alex Valle: someone rented it for me
(10:35:03 AM) Alex Valle: on my birthday
(10:35:08 AM) Alex Valle: soy sauce sluts
Working With Alex Valle 